Yesterday I was in a funk. It happens once in awhile. Then I went and had dinner with a really good friend and was excited to hear that she's getting married next summer; and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I am so happy for her! Then I went to my mom and dad's and got to ride horses and see family. By the time I got home, I was outta my funk.
Not to say that I didn't have to go through getting lost in Battle Creek at 10pm on my way home because traffic was backed up for miles and arguing with Luke on the phone over directions before it got better...
But that's life...right? Up, down, and back again. Why is it that I feel Luke and I waste precious time spent together arguing over little things or I get upset or overwhelmed? I feel like I miss all the exciting stuff going on around me. I have friends all around me planning weddings and there are days I wanna say to them, "Enjoy dating...marriage doesn't make life easier." But at the same time I wish someone would remind me to, "Enjoy being married, it's a blessing!" Ahh, life...so complicated some days.
I am getting more and more anxious as the month progresses. I am anxious to start classes. I can't wait to officially start training for my career, but at the same time I'm very nervous about it. I know I've said it before; but I'll say it again. So then I asked myself, "Why am I nervous?" This is what I came up with:
> I'm afraid that I'll be in over my head with classwork, work, and being a wife.
> I'm afraid that with Luke being in school and working in Jonesville again, things between us will get a little bit more stressful as we won't get to spend quality time with each other.
> I'm afraid that I'll get overwhelmed with classes and forget why I'm doing it in the first place. I don't want to lose my passion.
> I'm afraid of being sick and trying to manage pain with class and work.
> I'm nervous about getting lost (how silly is that, but still true).
I know some of you may be thinking, don't worry, it'll work out. Yet, they're still legit fears. Some of which, I'm aware, will probably never come about (statistically speaking). The sooner I start the program and can see that, the better off I'll be.
Okay, so there, I admitted to myself and you why I'm so anxious about starting classes in less then a month. I know things will work out in the end, but some days it's hard to see that when I'm overwhelmed by scary stuff.
In the mean time, I going to do what I can to prepare myself for class. Get organized and stay organized so it's not an issue when the crazy schedule starts. And most importantly, enjoy this time I have with Luke now (without the bickering) before life gets crazy.
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