This morning has started off slow...I slept in very late (later than I normally would by far) Last night was a long night, so I justified sleeping in til' almost 10am because of that. Here it is 10:30 and I'm still contemplating on what I'm going to accomplish this morning. So I decided to start with blogging this morning.
Lately, I have been in and out of these 'funks' that won't seem to leave me alone. Luke and I have been under a lot of stress lately; new job, one income, paying for classes, new classes, new lifestyle, etc. I feel that the true craziness hasn't even begun, and I'm already stressed out about it - not a good way to start things off. But I got this right?
Yesterday, is when I realized it. I realized that I'm not spending time doing the things I need to be doing right now. You may be asking yourself, "What are you talking about? You have all the time in the world this summer, how could you be spending in wrong?" Well...you know all those things back in the winter I said I wished I had time for but didn't? You know, like getting back into my devotions, praying with God more than the average Christian, diving into His Word, and exercising so that I can feel better. With all this time I've been given this summer I have done....none of those things. It's then I realized that I'm missing the boat.
It sucks that I realized this the last week of my care-free summer. Yet, so life goes right? We always miss the boat and then realize it at the last possible moment. Shoot, even my blog entries have been kinda "lifeless" lately. I haven't had or done anything profound all summer. This could have been my sabbatical summer - wait, this WAS my sabbatical summer and I blew it. I will probably never get this time back - EVER. Crap, so what now?
Well, I figure I got two ways to look at this loss of time. One: I can keep moping around, I've wasted too much time as it is to try to make up for anything. or Two: I pick my sorry self up and I DO something about all those things I mentioned earlier. In the end, it doesn't really matter how much time you really have getting right, just that you get it right - right?
So I guess today starts the beginning of actually getting it right. I'm going to stop focusing on the future and being stressed about things that I can't even control at this point and start focusing on the present. I've already missed too much time, I don't to miss anymore. I'm going to make the most of the next week and not stress about classes and time and things that I can't even control. I'm going to try to live in the NOW, not the LATER.
The 'later' is always subject to change anyway...based on how we live our 'now'.
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